Okcupid is not a dating site
But after a couple of weeks of messages that make the You Tube comment boards look sane, a lot of women give up on it.
As few people actually bother deleting their profile, part of the torment of using OKC is wondering whether the person you've messaged is ignoring you or simply met a lovely bloke six months ago.
Even a fake Ok Cupid persona depicting a bona fide sociopath who wanted to pull out her partners’ teeth and commit child-support fraud got 150 messages in a single day, including several requests for sex.
There’s Bumble, where men can only respond to messages initiated by women, and Wyldfire, an app that only admits men who’ve been invited by a woman, creating a kind of firewall to keep out creeps.
(Neither have attracted the critical mass of daters that’s essential to a dating platform’s utility.) With this week’s study, Ok Cupid is trying a similar approach: Persuade women to make the first move and they’ll be more active on the site, which will get men, who’ll receive more messages, to stick around.
The message ended in the most English way imaginable: "Do let me know if that sounds like your cup of tea". Call me a prude, but urine-soaked homoerotic strangulation is not my cup of tea at all.
The other reason all these people are on OKC is, of course, that the site is free to join. Well, yes, in my experience of online dating, free is very definitely bad.
And it's here where you encounter the second major drawback. Free sites are packed full with spammers and scammers and people looking for casual sex.