Online dating tips men first email
So yes, Jane, don’t hesitate to contact that guy you’ve been eyeing. ” Presuming you’ve had a man write to you before, is it really all that interesting when he tells you that he thinks you’re cute?There is nothing inherent about initiating an email conversation that screams out “desperate”. Where most women screw up that first email contact is by taking one of two approaches: 1) telling him how great he is, or 2) explaining why you’re great and why he should write back to you. Is there something particularly energizing in the phrase, “I think we have a lot in common”?Because emailing a man is nothing more than starting a conversation, you may think, "Why not?"However, once you decide to email an interesting guy, you may find yourself thinking, "What do I say to him?Is it really all that intriguing when he explains why he’s a good partner for you, even though you haven’t met?Even if a guy reads your entire profile and respond to one specific line, do you really get excited by a man who says, “I notice you like skiing. Then why would you write an email like that to a man?If you want to meet a man at a bar, you cross the room, plant yourself eight feet to his diagonal, wait for eye contact and smile. While you might have “made the first move”, you’re still in control, since he has to approach you. Emails that tell a man that he’s interesting are dull.Emails that tell a man that you hope he writes back are weak.
It’s a bit counterintuitive, but if your first instinct is to compliment him and explain your value, you’re not demonstrating that you have any value.I’m really grateful, Jane, that you made that connection between a first email and a come-hither look at a bar.That is EXACTLY the metaphor I use for private clients in describing the “tone” you want to capture in your initial contact.but in other ways it seems very aggressive and therefore a turnoff to most men. Dear Jane, Your question brings up two of the most common mistakes that women make in online dating: 1) Waiting for Men to Write to You First 2) Telling Him What You Like About His Profile First things first: Men LOVE it when women write to them. If you have an attractive photo, interesting essay, and you’re in his target demographic, why WOULDN’T he be excited to hear from you?
You may be on his Favorites list but he hasn’t had the opportunity to contact you yet.You’d never hit on a guy at a bar by walking up to him and telling him that he’s cute, he seems nice, and that you’d like to buy him a drink.